Dysfunctional Relations
by Sakura-Garnet
Summary: Malaysia muses on her relationship with England during a Commonwealth of Nations gathering and asks him something he least expects.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Axis Powers Hetalia or any of its characters. (though I certainly wish I did!) I am merely writing this out of pure enjoyment and as a tribute to such a wonderful anime!

**A/N: **I apologise in advance for any historical inaccuracy or if anyone gets offended by anything. It's my first time posting a fanfic so I really hope you enjoy this.

**~Dysfunctional Relations~**

The large, impeccably furnished house was filled with the avid chattering of guests seated at the dining room table. Its wooden, polished surface was filled with an assortment of exotic dishes, the scents of the spices and herbs of recipes from several different continents wafted over the guests, enticing the tastebuds of those present.

Malaysia lazily twirled a long spoon in her glass of ice cendol, and figured that it was fitting, considering that the Commonwealth consisted of nations from all corners of the globe. Then again, given that their host was renowned for his rather…unflattering culinary skills, everyone had insisted on bringing a dish.

Her gaze lingered on the man seated at the head of the table. She noticed that in London's spring weather, his foreign blonde hair took on a glint of sunshine gold, different from the darker straw blonde shade she was used to seeing whenever he attended meetings that were held in the tropics. His green eyes shone brightly, a disapproving frown etched across his face at the crude joke Australia was passing to New Zealand next to him. England…he was the sole reason she had the most unlikely group of relatives in existence.

It was seldom her attention was taken away from such a delicious display of food (after all eating itself was culture for her people) and she was slightly perturbed that despite being independent for over a good fifty years, England's mere presence still made her feel that it was unladylike to slouch in her seat.

The realisation was enough for her to almost moan in despair at England's uncanny ability to influence his former colonies.

The ex-British Empire had mellowed out over the years, as many of them had gained independence, but only a fool would think that England had lost his domineering streak. No, it was cleverly concealed…most of the time.

The dangerous glint in England's green eyes as he reprimanded his two former charges was a look she knew all too well. Portugal and Holland had borne the same glint in their eyes when they invaded her centuries ago. It spoke of a lust for glory, land and power and the same hunger had shone in Japan's dark, cruel gaze when he attacked her and her twin sister Singapore all those years ago. She held back a shudder. Some things were best not remembered.

Despite her immense displeasure at having been a constant victim of imperialists, Malaysia silently admitted to herself that England, despite all his misgivings continued to intrigue her till this day.

'_Well I suppose it's only natural, after all...he insisted on having the most influence.'_ She thought. It brought to mind a very distant memory.

_Malaysia stood rather perplexed between the two, taller European nations seated before her. She was after all, only a child and hardly a match for either of them. Most of her lands were under the control of the British Empire, but Holland still held one area. What was once the golden port of Melaka during Portugal's reign was now a ruined town, completely cut off from the rest of the spice trade. _

_It was only natural she supposed, after all Holland's pride and joy was the Dutch East Indies. The Dutchman in point, gave her a disdainful, dismissing glance, as if she were now no more than a mere burden to him. Far from the prize he'd conquered from Portugal years ago. His eyes were now focused on the small boy standing next to her. He'd always doted on the Dutch East Indies. _

_It was strange to be partially torn under the control of two very different foreigners. It often felt as if she were tied up in a sack and being yanked back and forth, in opposite directions from each end. She wanted nothing more than to curse the living daylights out of them, but knew better than to retaliate by now. She'd learnt the hard way not to attack powerful European countries. _

"_So it's agreed then. I'll exchange Bencoolen for Malacca. You'll have full control over the East Indies, and Malaya will be mine." _

_The British Empire's voice was demanding and authoritative, his eyes gleamed victoriously. _

_Holland only grinned back in reply, "Done." _

_The document between them was signed, and without further adieu Holland clamped a hand over the young boy's shoulder. He bi d the shorter blonde nation farewell and left the room. The boy, who would later call himself Indonesia, said nothing only giving her a wistful smile before the door closed behind them. _

_In the now deathly quiet office, Malaysia dared to lift her nervous brown-eyed gaze from the wooden floorboards. England's sandy blonde hair was unruly and rugged from many months of sailing. He was draped in one of the red and white military uniforms of his ever expanding empire, one leg crossed over the other as he sat upon the wooden chair at his desk. _

_He leant forward folding his hands in front of his face and frowned, thick brows furrowing, "It's too bad I didn't claim Malacca earlier…look at what that idiot Holland's done to you," he let out a sigh. Standing to his full height, he circled the desk to stand before her, "Well…I suppose it could be worse. You're not sick after all. It's certainly fortunate that you were mostly mine to begin with." _

_His eyes raked over her less than tidy appearance. She hadn't known whether to feel insulted or embarrassed at the time. She was rather malnourished and ragged after all. _

_She shuffled back unconsciously as he towered over her small form. The British Empire was shorter than both Holland and Portugal, but Malaysia knew how deceiving appearances could be. . It would be many years before she would ever have the confidence to confront him._

_Power and ambition radiated off the man tenfold, and the vicious smirk that spread across his lips was possessive and frightening. She remembered wondering, petrified what would become of her and whether her little sister was alright. _

_Yet for all the years of imperialism she had experienced under his rule, Malaysia couldn't help but remember the way England's expression had changed. His cold, schooled features softened to hold an expression of flustered bewilderment and a sliver of guilt, when she started to shake and whimper, tears cascading down her face in sheer terror. _

_In a heartbeat it was as if he were a young English gentleman kneeling to wipe the tears of a crying little girl with a handkerchief, instead of the conquering empire he had been mere seconds ago. _

_She remembered the way England hesitantly reached out his hand to her and gently petted her head as she rather begrudgingly took the handkerchief and blew into in rather loudly. It was as if comforting a child was something that he had done many times. _

"_It's alright, please don't cry." He'd said. _

_Malaysia did not understand his words at the time, but she decided that although England's eyes could be cruel and cold, they were far more wonderful when he was kind. She had never met anyone with eyes that shone like emeralds, and they were the most iridescent she had ever seen. _

Malaysia snapped out of her nostalgia as she felt a finger poke her cheek intrusively. She turned her head, despite already knowing who the culprit was, unable to resist glaring at her twin.

Singapore had always been the more outgoing one, and had chosen to dress in designer black slacks and a stylish red blouse courtesy of her world-renowned shopping plazas.

"You're staring again," Usually Singapore was rather well behaved, but now she sported a grin that would put a Cheshire Cat's to shame. Such an expression never meant anything good.

"Wh-What? I was not!" Malaysia retorted as she swatted her sister's fingers away.

It was a feeble response, but Malaysia defiantly crossed her kebaya clad arms across her chest. The slight reddish tint spreading across her cheeks only encouraged more teasing.

"Suuuure you weren't," Singapore drawled, completely unconvinced, "You were far too preoccupied with your food as usual."

What was far worse was that her sister could read her like an open book…she guessed it was only natural with so many of her people residing and working in Singapore to begin with.

Malaysia glanced down at her plate, only to find that she'd barely eaten anything. 'Oh dear, ignoring food? I don't even have an excuse for that.'

India's dark eyes sparkled with mirth at Singapore's rather sarcastic comment. The dark skinned beauty was clad in an orange and gold embroidered sari, the numerous fine, golden bangles on her wrist jangling as she brought her hand up to muffle her laughter.

Her large brown eyes followed Malaysia's previous line of sight. England was currently informing New Zealand and Australia that hurling inappropriate insults at each other and perching a koala bear on one's shoulder was not proper table etiquette.

India almost snorted at the realisation and couldn't help but exchange a knowing look with the younger of the South-east Asian twins.

She motioned with a tilt of her head towards the Englishman, "Do you fancy him Malaysia?"

Malaysia decided to respond to the situation by stuffing a whole curry puff into her mouth and almost choked at India's question.

Thankfully England was too preoccupied to notice her lack of manners. She swallowed slowly before replying, "I don't know what you're talking about."

'_Ah yes…just deny everything. Deny, deny, deny!'_ Malaysia repeated the mantra in her head.

Kenya, who was seated on Singapore's other side only rolled her eyes, "Malaysia you look like a deer about to be hit by a train right now, and don't even try denying anything."

Papua New Guinea snickered, "Yeah, everyone knows the only thing you stare at when you're at a table is the food that's on it."

Malaysia flinched, "Hey, that's harsh! Food isn't always on my mind."

"Not anymore it isn't," India smirked.

"Sis, come to think of it I've always wondered whether you had Stockholm syndrome," Singapore murmured, "You know, considering how fascinated you were with Portugal and Holland."

It took a lot of effort not to growl out in anger and crush the glass containing her beloved dessert.

"Fascination is NOT the word, don't remind me about those two," Malaysia seethed, teeth clenched, "and I do NOT have a thing for colonial empires."

"Colonial Empires huh? Oh Malaysia that is kinky," Seychelles chipped in, from her seat next to Kenya. She winked at the now embarrassed female nation, "Although… I can't say I really blame you. Just be thankful you didn't have England and France fighting over you like Canada and I."

Singapore grinned wickedly, before replying to her twin's defensive claim, "I said you were _fascinated_ by Portugal and Holland, I never said that you had a _thing _for them."

"Don't twist my words! It's the same thing!" Malaysia groaned exasperatedly, "besides, it'd be _far _more likely for you or India to have some sort of school girl crush on England, but certainly not me."

'_Honestly…those two teasing me when they were two of England's most favoured colonies in Asia,' _she miffed internally.

"Oh Malaysia, of course we all rebelled to get our independence." India replied.

Singapore nodded, "But if I recall, you didn't want to become independent earlier because you _wanted_ England to be there for you when you were scared of communism."

Malaysia's eyes widened, her fork clenched tightly in her hand as she nervously retorted, "Th-That's not true! My people wanted independence! Communism had nothing to do with it!"

"Ah, of course...it's true your people wanted it but did _you_?" Singapore asked, "After all, you can't deny that even though England played favourites with India and I, you were always the one who rushed to see him first whenever he came to visit the two of us."

That statement certainly hit a sore spot, but Malaysia remained composed and refused to succumb to outwardly wincing at the grating truth of Singapore's words.

For a moment she dearly wished she could have switched places with Canada, who was sitting next to Seychelles.

"What I wouldn't give to be ignored right about now," Malaysia muttered softly. She could feel her cheeks heating up again.

At this point she wondered whether England would notice if she slipped out the back door and started digging her own grave in his backyard.

"Awww she's blushing! Pakistan you owe me 20 Rupees!" India giggled, nudging her rather nonchalant looking brother.

Pakistan only rolled his dark eyes in annoyance, "She hasn't admitted anything, and blushing doesn't count."

"Wait a minute…you two are betting on me?" Malaysia inquired sending an accusing gaze at the South Asian pair, "What the heck are you betting on?"

"Well Pakistan here thinks there's no way you'd ever admit to liking England, since let's face it he was pretty horrible to you for a while there. Singapore, Hong and I think otherwise though," India winked.

"Hong?! Hong Kong's in on this too? I thought China didn't like him coming to these meetings since he went back home," Malaysia replied, utterly surprised that the stoic Asian boy would think of such things with India and Singapore of all people.

"Well, technically even though Hong isn't part of the Commonwealth, He's still family! Besides, he said he might stop by this evening." Singapore grinned, "You know how Hong is, silent yet mischievous."

Malaysia only nodded. They'd seen far too many sneaky displays of fireworks being set off under a dozing England's chair to ever think Hong Kong was a sweet, quiet, young country.

'Why am I not surprised that Hong wasn't excused from the craziness of this family?' Malaysia sighed, pondering this while Canada and Seychelles began conversing quietly in French.

As India, Singapore and Pakistan began discussing all the childish pranks they'd played on England in their colonial days, Malaysia took it as a small blessing and decided to discretely leave the table to get some well deserved fresh air. Thank goodness the conversation had steered away from her.

At the other end of the table, England sighed in resignation rubbing his temples. After all these years Australia and New Zealand were still as childish as ever when they wanted to be.

"Between the two of you and America I'm surprised I've kept my sanity all these years," England muttered.

"Sorry pops, but really it was 'Zealand's fault. He started it," Australia shrugged, earning a murderous glare from his younger brother.

"_My _fault? You started it with that stupid sheep shagging joke! You're so bloody immature Aus!" New Zealand retorted.

Australia only grinned, "But it's true! You've got more sheep than people."

Of course this little comment only served to make New Zealand positively livid, "Why I outta-"

"Shut up! Both of you! Enough! Haven't I taught the two of you any better?" England growled, effectively cutting off the younger of the Trans-Tasmanian siblings. "Goodness, you'd think the both of you do this every Commonwealth meeting just to rile me up."

Australia and New Zealand only gave him twin impish grins in reply. Laughing and seeming as friendly to each other as ever, they clinked their bottles of beer in 'cheers' before tucking into the lunch set before them.

England could only watch utterly stunned, wondering where on earth he'd gone wrong, and that perhaps that massive colonizing spree all those years ago hadn't been such a good idea after all.

England shook his head, politely dismissing a drink offered by New Zealand although accepting the playful teasing and apologies from both of the young nations. He was about to take a sip from his steaming cup of tea when he paused for a moment. Something didn't feel right, almost as if someone was missing.

A part of his mind scoffed and told him to stop being so _'utterly ridiculous'_ and _'how on earth would you know, there are over fifty nations present?'_

But the close, albeit not always smooth connections he had with his former colonies allowed him to have a bit of a sixth sense at times when they were gathered like this. Someone was definitely missing, he was sure of it.

England's green eyes scanned the table in a clockwise direction, mentally checking off each nation. He paused when his gaze settled on the empty chair next to Singapore at the opposite end of the table.

'_I do believe that answers your insipid curiosity,' _the voice in his mind drawled. England mentally rolled his eyes and politely excused himself from his distracted company.

It was after all, his responsibility to be a good host and ensure the happiness of his guests. Of course what piqued his concern was that this individual, with a penchant for good food had barely touched her plate. England would have understood perfectly had he cooked the meal himself (after all, Malaysia just didn't seem to appreciate British cuisine), but the food had been prepared by the other guests, and mealtime was always something Malaysia looked forward to.

Nursing the steaming cup of Earl Grey tea in one hand he walked to the other end of the house, quietly sliding open the back door. He had a feeling that she'd ventured out here. Past experience told him Malaysia would be in the back yard. The girl always did love to surround herself with flowers.

Sure enough, in the far corner of the garden, and across the bridge of his small garden pond, Malaysia sat perched on a small stone bench, her eyes closed as she absorbed the tranquillity of the familiar place.

The bench was surrounded by many flowers which he had planted over time from different parts of his former Empire, all of them in full bloom at this time of the year. It had always been her favourite place to go to whenever he had brought her to his house as a small colony. Things had not always gone smoothly between them in the past.

England winced. He had been daring, adventurous, young and uncaring about anything other than himself many a time. It was a wonder Malaysia agreed to join the Commonwealth after gaining her independence. Deciding he'd spent enough time reminiscing to himself outside the door, he quietly made his way over her.

If Malaysia had noticed anything about the presence of someone walking towards her, it certainly wasn't apparent. At least not until England slowly took a seat next to her. She hadn't even opened her eyes, and he was just about to assume she had dozed off, until a soft sigh escaped her lips as she murmured, "Singapura, if you came out here just to tease me about England again then please just leave me alone ok?" The end of her sentence was punctuated with another sigh.

The British nation blinked in well deserved confusion, curious as to what had been going on before she'd left the table. Malaysia only ever called her twin sister 'Singapura' if she was serious about something in private.

"Teasing? About me? Whatever on earth for? " He asked, a little too surprised to say the, _'terribly sorry dear, but I'm afraid I'm not your sister,'_ that was on the tip of his tongue mere seconds ago.

Malaysia's dark brown eyes snapped open in utter shock and she jumped a little out of her seat, clutching a hand into the material of the front of her chest in utter embarrassment. A magenta blush was beginning to spread across her cheeks; and he noted that it matched the hibiscus tucked in her hair.

"E-England?! O-Oh! N-Nothing! I-It's nothing I swear! I-I don't know what I was th-thinking saying something like that!" Malaysia stuttered. With the way she was flailing her hands about, it was as if he'd caught her in the middle of undressing herself.

England only coughed discretely and raised an eyebrow. Malaysia knew that expression and cursed inwardly that despite his former bad child-rearing skills, England could still easily call her bluff.

"Malaysia, you've always been a terrible liar," England remarked, his green eyes darkening a hue in seriousness, "and I know that sometimes I haven't been as thoughtful of you as I should have been…but if something's been bothering you, I do hope that I'm not so horrid that the thought of telling me seems utterly devastating." His tone softened to a murmur as his gaze travelled back down to the tendrils of steam wafting from the porcelain tea cup in his hand.

Malaysia's eyes widened a fraction at this, "N-No not at all! It's just…how did you know that I wasn't just coming out here for some fresh air?"

A smirk twitched at the corner of his mouth, "Let's just say that your lack of an appetite gave you away."

"Am I really such a glutton to everyone?" Malaysia asked, a little self-conscious.

"Hardly, there's a difference between being gluttonous and having a cultural love for food, and you are certainly not the former," England replied, "in fact I'd say it's more of an endearing characteristic."

His eyes shone sharply for a moment, steeling her to sit up straight. "Don't think I've forgotten my previous train of thought though, you've spurred my curiosity now. Besides, what sort of a gentleman would I be if I didn't ensure my visitor was enjoying herself?"

It was more of a rhetorical question than anything else, but the grin that the man sported made him more of the pirate and less of the gentleman that he appeared to be.

Malaysia gulped, 'Oh no…and here I thought he'd let it go.' She wailed internally, her blush intensifying.

"W-Well, England you always had India, Pakistan, Singapore and you even had part of Indonesia, you practically had a quarter of the world in the palm of your hand! Don't get me wrong, I know I had lots of natural resources too…but I've always felt that they were more important to you. All those years ago…I never really understood why you did it. Bencoolen was a better part of the spice trade but you gave it up for the rest of me. Did you just do it for my sister? Was I just another country to conquer?" Dark brown liquid eyes met emerald green, "England…what am I to you?"

The smirk that had graced England's face moments earlier disappeared completely and his eyes widened a little. He hadn't expected her to ask him such a question after all the years that had passed, but he soon composed himself his gaze flickering downward towards the amber liquid in his teacup. His irises seemed to turn a darker melancholic hue of green, as if his mind were recalling centuries gone by.

"What are you to me?" He murmured, so softly that had Malaysia not been next to him she would have probably thought she'd imagined him speaking.

"Believe it or not, that's not the first time I've heard that question," His gaze turned to the surrounding flowers and he fondly touched the petals of a blood red rose, "but it certainly has been a while."

"England..." she murmured, quite unsure of what to say for the moment while he was in his reverie, and starting to regret bringing about such a sad, nostalgic look on his face.

"I won't lie to you Malaysia, because it's certainly true that I was overzealous and domineering. I felt isolated and insignificant from the rest of the world and I wanted recognition and power...but it didn't exactly start out that way."

Malaysia blinked, "What do you mean?"

He turned back to face her and ironic smile painted across his porcelain features, for right now she was sure he was about to bear a part of his true self to her, and she had never seen him so fragile. Not even when he had painfully given Hong Kong back to China.

"It started out with a dream I had. Might seem silly when I look back on it, because things didn't turn out the way I envisioned them. I wanted to create an empire of liberty so great that it wouldn't be about conquering the world, but trading with it."

He paused for a moment, looking at the clouds that rolled by in the rare blue London sky, "But I lost sight of things, and became a barbaric tyrant. I took for granted what it meant to be free, and in the process took away freedom from others."

"America..." Malaysia murmured, "Was he the one who reminded you about what freedom meant?"

"Yes, he did. But it was already too late. By then I had many colonies around the world and back then...after America..." the last two words were almost choked out as England still sat ramrod straight.

He was silent for a few moments, composing himself before he continued, "After America declared independence....I couldn't stand the thought of losing any of you. Especially the colonies I gained afterwards, I was afraid that if I cared too much that the same thing would happen. But I just became more power hungry and ruthless and in the end, I just made the same mistakes." he scoffed a little, "I suppose it serves me right, feeling lonely now. Who would have guessed that America would have been the one to start it all?"

The words were said rather harshly, but Malaysia could see that England was struggling to keep his voice from breaking. She sighed softly, taking the now cold teacup from his hands and placing it back on the bench.

Before England could register that his tea was missing, she took his larger hands in her own and squeezing them gently.

"You love America very much don't you? Even though you seldom show it," Malaysia asked, though they both knew it was more of an unspoken truth than a question.

"It's alright you know, to say that you loved him or still love him the most. To tell the truth, all of us knew for a while that America would always hold a special place in your heart after we became your colonies," She paused a moment.

He was looking at her now...intently. Not at the garden or the sky but her and only her.

"I won't lie to you either England. When I was younger you scared me. I used to get so angry at you so many times for the horrible things that you did. For all the problems you caused me...but I could never hate you. Because there were many good things you did too. You taught me so many things, helped my people build a system of government...I admit that everything still needs a lot more work, but I wouldn't be who I am without you. You haven't said the words to me, but I've known you long enough to read between the lines. England...all this time, you loved all of us, and you still _do _don't you?"

No words came from his lips, but the tears that trailed down his pale face were answer enough for her. Smiling she pulled a familiar, embroidered white handkerchief from her pocket and gently wiped his tears away, cupping his face in her small hands.

"I can't say I speak for everyone else England, but I want you to know, that even though you've always reserved a place just for America in your heart, that there's always been a place for you in mine. I didn't want to tell you, because I didn't think you cared about me, but I know that wasn't true at all."

England took her hands from his face and held them, gently turning over the familiar handkerchief in her palm, to see his initials still embroidered on the other side.

"You still have this? This thing must be centuries old by now!" He chuckled light-heartedly.

"W-Well, I was going to return it this evening..." she muttered softly, "but I didn't expect I'd be giving it back to you this way."

England only smiled at her, "You kept the handkerchief...after all these years."

Malaysia only blushed in response and attempted to splutter out an excuse for keeping such a thing, only to fail miserably.

Her attempts served to make England's eyes shine with mirth at her flustered behaviour. "It's alright really, you can keep it after I wash and iron it out for you. It's my fault that it's wet after all."

"B-But...are you sure?"

"Of course...but I do have one condition." England grinned rather slyly.

Malaysia raised a dark eyebrow in caution, "I knew there was a catch," she sighed, "and what would that be?"

Eyes glinting with familiar possessiveness, England leant forward and whispered into her ear, "I get to call you, by your _old_ name dear _**Malaya**_."

The man's domineering, silky tone sent a shiver up her spine, and Malaysia was sure it was certainly not from the cool London weather. If _that _tone of his didn't make her feel weak in the knees she didn't know what would.

"A-Alright then...b-but this is only because that handkerchief has sentimental value, a-and you'd better not call me that in front of the others! O-Only in private ok?" Malaysia stuttered not at all convinced at her reason.

"Of course my dear, I wouldn't dream of it," England murmured. Still grinning as though he'd just found a whole loot of buried treasure, he lifted her right hand to his lips and kissed it, "After all, I am a _gentleman_."

England then rose to his feet, Malaysia's hand still in his grasp as he helped her up. "That being said, I do believe that we should head back before everyone notices we're missing."

Picking up the cup of Earl Grey tea, he sipped it before wrinkling his nose delicately in distain at the now cold beverage.

Malaysia giggled, "Sorry, I guess we've been out here a while. Let's go back inside and have some tea."

"Very well, I suppose I might have some condensed milk in the fridge, you always did like that," England replied.

With that they left the garden of memories and slid the back door shut behind them. Next to the small stone bench in the garden, a rose and a hibiscus grew side by side.

**~The End~**

**The kebaya is a traditional Malaysian dress skirt combination, but also exists in several different variations in other South East Asian countries such as Brunei, Indonesia, Burma and Singapore. **

**Ice cendol (pronounced chen-dohl) is a popular desert consisting of coconut milk, palm sugar and green coloured noodles. Red beans, shaved ice and corn can also be added to it. **

**Melaka/Malacca was conquered by the Portuguese in 1511 but in 1641 they were defeated by the Dutch who then gained control of the area. **

**The Anglo-Dutch Treaty was signed in 1824, to settle disputes between the Netherlands and the United Kingdom. The UK exchanged Bencoolen for Malacca, the only remaining part of the Straits of Malaya that were under the control of the Dutch. **

**After WWII the Malayan Communist party tried to force the British out of Malaya, although Malaya declared independence on August 31 1957, it did not become a unified state until 1963. **

**Teh Tarik is a Malaysia beverage made by pouring a mixture of black tea and condensed milk between two vessels from different heights. It oxidises the tea and tastes delicious!**


End file.
